Ramparts of Ice is a Kokoro connect coded anime, every way I look at it. The series evokes in me similar deep emotions. Ramparts of Ice follows 4 people who in their own ways are unable to ever be or show or even understand their real selves, along with a supporting cast that enable or act as important obstacles. The series covers how well hidden their layers are, whether it's from each other or from themselves. Each character has their own walls to be scaled from within, support they aren't aware they need and multiple character arcs to realise what works and doesn't work for them.

The 4 characters invert different traits of each other, in a way that they're each other's foils as well as mirrors. A foil is a direct contrast and a mirror is a parallel to the same situation or experience. Koyun & Yota are mirrors for each other to grow and be more accepting by learning different ways to see the same experience. The love interest pairing of Koyun and Amamiya are perfect foils at first sight, but the more we learn about both, they eventually occupy spaces of mirrors -- once we realise that the real faces under masks are rather similar. This anime has a lot of perfectly inverted and complementary relationships.

I see myself in different aspects of a lot of the characters. Whether the traits were at a similar age, or older or even today. I love the parallels and inverted personalities and trajectories the series explores via a very diverse crowd in terms of thinking. Most strongly, I relate to 3 characters:

I think I saw myself a lot as how Koyun sees herself for the majority of the show while I was at a similar age. Especially the way she described her middle school life as a frog trapped in a fish tank with fish she can't gel with. It's very simple, yet the dialogue at the time was effective. You can only try to be yourself with hopes of being accepted. I believed I had no salvation, I was incredibly self conscious, and I deeply hated who I was. I hated my inability to make the change all the anime characters inspired me to want. Koyun captures a lot of who I was then very clearly, along with the ability to change once the support system was around to make it all happen.

Similarly, I see myself a lot in Amamiya as I got slightly older. Allowing people in a certain bit, to explore the gardens of my being but stopping them from entering my heart right when they came close enough. The key and lock metaphor works very well for me too, in my late teens and early adulthood years I really thought all I needed to feel self-important was to have as many people as possible who think I'm cool. It didn't matter if I was interested in them or not, it fed my self worth. I only look back to that time with regret -- for making friends feel like they were collectibles more than people in my corner.

I've been selfish like Kuriki, I empathise with the clarity of her motives a lot. I will communicate what I want clearly and then start setting up conditions to win. I know how important it is to ensure victory, and similarly to Kuriki I do lose more than I win.

The anime has very well thought of interactions. I love the misreadings, all interpretations are right in their own way. With whatever information they have, everyone does make their own assumptions to reach their biased conclusions. I'm a fan of how well the anime jumps into everyone's perspectives on the same actions. While also having their ears open for opportunities for reframing what they've learned.

The soundtrack is an ABSOLUTE slapper. Like, I was very locked in throughout. The ending song is a proper all timer, thematically fitting as well as a whole 11/10 at least. I've not stayed for the ending song this much since Queen Bee's ending song for Oshi no Ko season 1.

While You and I are polar opposites is attracting a whole lot of attention, I feel that this series is far better - as works from the same author. Ramparts of ice does a lot of the lighter & comedic stuff as well if not better, the character depth simply feels more palpable and retrospectively relatable. I enjoy both, and I cannot wait for more works from the same author! Additionally, it's been a while since a series had me so hooked that I just had to go from the anime to reading the manga!

The third grade plot and setting really did a number on me. I expected this to be slop I drop in 2 episodes after putting down a report that "this is not bad but nothing special". I still don't think it's special, but it's definitely made with more care than I gave it credit. I'm also fond of the simple comedy it has, nothing insane but the show creates good tension & releases. One thing I have to say is that the pacing is a bit too fast for me. I don't mind that we get a mid point confession and clear solutions for Asanagi, but maybe let the pan simmer a bit longer. Still, there's enough going on in Maki's life that drives the melodrama.

My fear with Maehara Maki was that he was a self insert that viewers could simply project upon. The difference being in how he perceives being alone, both the maturity and frustration displayed along with him actually being an observant person as one of his key traits. I had prepared myself to think this would be a sort of The Angel Spoils me rotten scenario with the main mc's whole deal being that he's a good person with basic decency. I was glad to be proven wrong. I think Maki really grows into himself over time, tackling his own familial circumstances and also being a reasonable partner to his low self-esteem counterpart Asanagi Umi.

I really like the way Yuu Amami was written. There's a certain difficulty in portraying characters as both annoying and charismatic. She comes off as an annoyance primarily because of her first half role as someone Asanagi feels inferior towards. She often oversteps boundaries, doesn't acknowledge her pretty privilege and is a genuinely confident outgoing person. Once the tension reaches her though, she does begin to understand why or how others around her feel towards her & the people surrounding her because of her existence.

My favourite character is Asanagi Umi. I think she's very similar to another character I really like - Minami Nanami aka Mimimi from Jaku Chara Tomozaki kun. I think she's the most genuine feeling character out of the lot. Having been someone who also used to bottle up their emotions for the better of everyone around, it took an explosion for me to realise its danger. In the anime, we see Maki explode similarly once, and also similarly learn from the experience to be better. She also apologises a lot, has truly low self-esteem and is still always trying to be a better version of herself by never shying away and putting herself out there. There's traits I related with while growing into who I'm becoming too.

The series doesn't run towards de-complicating relationships, just because it would be the easy answer. While no problem is watered down, and bottling up one's emotions is showcased through multiple characters and perspectives, the individual events were a bit rushed for sure. I liked that there was enough content for me to want to keep watching, but it's also true that the anime essentially ran through everything with communication. Something that I feel didn't do justice to the depth of the issues, especially with how everything was being constantly pushed towards resolution.

I enjoyed watching this anime. I don't think I'll be thinking of it when I put down the best watched anime list. While I'll throw it a generous 7.5/10 which equates to being between good and very good, I could also see myself scaling it down to a 7 which is still good but not outstanding. The anime isn't unique but it is well executed. What I liked most somewhat kept moving because they did enough to keep me invested in main 3 issues. 1 being Umi's insecurity; 2 being their relationship; 3 being Maki's familial situation. I felt like the series did well in not keeping the issues in silos, but that they interact with each other. Similar series tend to follow a very linear one issue at a time approach, which I liked this show not doing.

Created by Hiromu Arakawa, the author of probably the greatest anime of the modern era Fullmetal Alchemist, Gin no Saji holds an almost higher place in my heart. Gin no Saji is an anime that takes place in an agricultural high school. The main character Hachiken Yugo is a previously "gifted" student who becomes disillusioned by his path, choosing to leave behind the dream of entering Tokyo University, instead opting to go to an agricultural school. The anime explores his experience in the school meeting a lot of people around him.

Farm to table, heart to heart:

In Gin no Saji, the cast at some point have to start raising pigs at agricultural high school. For most of the cast it's work as usual, a lot of them come from farm families and had either worked as a farmhand or had seen the process. The main character is the breath of fresh air to that because he's not from an agri background even remotely. He raises the thinnest frailest pig "Butadon" (TL: pork bowl). Initially he doesn't want to get attached because he knows the pig will be food at the end. But giving the pig a name helps him grow the animal into a big boi that he truly does cherish and love. At the end, he buys the pig he'd grown and treats his friends to a meal. I'll never forget you, Skytree Bowl!

A separate example of farm to table is an episode where the group eat pizza made out of ingredients contributed to by the class - hand churned cheese, grown veggies and a fire oven they found catching dust!

The anime hit me in ways mostly around how I process being lost and forging a path forward. At the same time, the way it instilled the value of food in me.

Like yes I valued an abstract undefined quality that food is important because it gives life, but not the countless people's labour, the tension of harvest, the care or the sacrifice. The pig arc was sad as hell, and the pizza episode is iconic because of how food could bring people together.

To each their own:

The anime deeply explores these feelings and a lot more about struggles in each character's high school lives.

Mr bright future goes to farm school - Hachiken Yuugo

Every interaction and arc reveals more about Hachiken's insecurities, what has built him and how he rebuilds different aspects of him. His older brother made it to Hachiken's dream university Tokyo University, and as per Hachiken, he squandered his life by not making anything of it and instead chose to become a wanderer exploring himself. In the funniest events of fate , he embarks on a similar journey as his brother; Hachiken had to leave behind the structure he had known to struggle in, try to understand and finally embrace the unknown. Hachiken's growth in curiosity and grit, fighting with his own lack of self worth and respect for agriculture and it growing on him with time. I love his character because of how often his beliefs get broken down, and it would be so easy to remain close minded, but he would still embrace the world around him.

Handsome guy who has to quit - Ichiro Komaba

Ichiro is a very serious and responsible character. He's good looking and is often seen as an oasis in a farm school by a lot of the girls. His sense of responsibility however comes from his difficult circumstances. His family runs a small struggling dairy and knows that he has to one day become the source of income. His seriousness sharply cuts against the more light and comedic side cast, but it comes from a genuine place, and everyone does respect him. He's also Hachiken's best friend, in a lot of ways. He intends to use his talent for baseball to provide for his family -- this is the only bit of dreaminess he shows as an otherwise very realistic character. When push comes to shove, he also has to quit school and while other characters understand this, it hits Hachiken the worst because it just makes him realise his sheer privilege at being able to live as a teenager. Ichiro is arguably my favourite character. The depth he offers to the story through his circumstances and how he upholds himself with dignity and acceptance is so deeply human.

Ms Horse Rider - Aki Mikage

Aki is Hachiken's first real friend and romantic interest. She starts off as a sense of fascination for him. He thinks of her as an embodiment of the farm life: a born & brought up cow & horse farmer who intends to take up the farm life, while also being a member of the equestrian club. Aki's confusion with who she is and who she wants to become is central to her character. While we're seeing a similar pattern from Hachiken, we also get inside his head and understand all the whys and whats. And so, Aki's presence is complementary to Hachiken's. They're both going through similar developments but very differently.

Businesswoman extraordinaire - Inada Tamako

The easiest generalization in life is to write off people who are better off than you as sorted because they don't have to think about their next meal. Inada Tamako is a richie rich farmer conglomerate girl. She's a hard worker who has strong-headed self agency and speaks her mind. She was also great with numbers and a penny pincher. She's on the heavier side and while initially there are a few throwaway jokes about her, people see her and love her for who she is -- even if sometimes she sounds slightly evil because of how money minded she is. Her ruthlessness makes her beloved within the characters though, she even lends help to Hachiken on how he can best use his 50kg of pork to sell. I love her because she is the definition of living your truth no matter who or what says otherwise. Her self confidence is wonderfully refreshing, and she has the smarts to back it.

The anime never attempts to reduce anyone's circumstances. Rich girl = easy life isn't treated as the expected blaming point. One person being rich isn't necessarily the reason someone else is suffering. A complaint I had with FMA was how the Ishvalan revolutionaries were given a simple surface level apology for being genocided, and often denied their anger. Here, the characters accept each other for who they are, to each their own circumstances are understood and not denied. Every character in this is very dynamic and compelling, and the series never looks to water them down basis a single trait.

Beyond the lessons I've learnt:

I had a friend on anime amino named Ginga, our conversations back then were around my confusion for what to do and how to go about it. Ginga is from a completely different continent and while she related with the feeling, she also recognised her advice may not reach me as well as an anime might. That anime of course was Gin no Saji. Like yes I've learnt a good few real things from the series, but I've enjoyed the series a lot, honestly.

She said "I'm certain this is an anime you'll love and live with", and damn was she right! I've been in love with the anime ever since I first watched it. While there's a lot of heartfelt moments, it's peppered full of comedy, angst and entertainment. The events in themselves are extremely well contained and mostly short-lived. What I adore about the anime most is how it was not just a great experience but also a reality that has lived with me in my life ever since. If you love Gin no Saji, I hope we can talk about it in the comments. If you haven't, I hope you're inspired to go pick it up because no matter the age, this is an anime that will live alongside you!

Sadda Haq and Eren Yeager

Song link - https://youtu.be/QTQVG5rSMkQ?si=DX2Vfknh2No2q6HL

Sadda Haq is a song by singer Mohit Chauhan from the movie 'Rockstar'. While I have to admit, I haven't watched the movie, I've heard its songs a million times. Rock songs are a bit rare in Bollywood movies. Sadda Haq is a song that delves into the mental state of the anarchist artist struggling against the system and its prejudiced handlers, while battling his own demons. The key message is along the lines of a revolution leading to liberation, leading to independence. Who better to lead a revolution against his own inner self and the outer world, to essentially save humanity and lay the stones for a united future, even if he may not be able to see it.

Eren Yeager is someone whose painful existence can bring hope, despair and tears to all who got to see him at his different points. As someone who was in the middle of the greatest journey anime allowed us to see over the past decade, he's practically a rockstar. With a song about revolution and the greatest revolutionary of anime, it's my right (sadda haq = my right) to put together these two in such a union. The lyrics match VERY nicely.

Fun fact: The song in its production also consequently has roots with the "Free Tibet" movement, and at the time of its release really brought the plight of Tibetans to the mainstream media. Of course I'm going to be placing Eren Yeager, the fated hero of humanity as the representative of this song.

Om Shanti Om Daastan - Gankutsuou anime

Song link - https://youtu.be/ymuNkKuToao?si=aTiSy6j1yr7ZbIhl

Om Shanti Om is a movie dear to my heart, partly because of the absolute banger music or maybe it's the iconic performances of the seasoned SRK and the then relatively fresh-faced Deepika Padukone, perhaps it's the story, or maybe, it's the ultimate game changer - nostalgia. To give a simple baseline, Om Shanti Om is a revenge thriller love story set across two different eras. The first era has the main set up where the destined characters are betrayed in the name of love and murdered only to later reincarnate in the second era to take revenge on their murderer; the ultimate fate of star-crossed lovers. "Daastan" is the type of forgotten song that everyone actually does enjoy if they know the context. It's also absolutely fire with the song as well as the visuals.

Gankutsuou's main act starts after the set up betrayal that we find out about in the most satisfying unfolding manner ever. We soon find out that the count was betrayed in name of one friend wanting his beloved, another his post and for an unrelated person this case was the perfect political stepping stone. The scheme here is far too perfectly executed vs the bolly movie one. The song could very well be a retelling of the count's past betrayal and undying vengeance, it's funny how much the lyrics explain this revenge anime's primary plot.

Tu Jaane Na and the matchmaker tendency to set your lover up with another person

Song link - https://youtu.be/P8PWN1OmZOA?si=IDQvwp8NsJaIohkJ

Romantic songs in Bollywood would put the phrase a dime a dozen to shame, there's also a million better songs out there probably songs. They all generally express that angst of being in love and it being so close to working out, but somehow notconnecting. "Tu Jaane Na" is a song from the movie "Ajab Prem ki Gajab Kahaani", where the titular Prem is in love with Jenny, but Jenny already has her eyes on another man, so Prem tries to help out his lover meet hers. This song is placed at a time where he's keeping his feelings for her hidden. Eventually through other events and obstacles, Prem and Jenny do end up getting together. This roundabout way of loving someone, not telling them, almost having them go for someone else but in the end they marry you, is like the most 2006-2011 Bollywood action romance plot there could be, and I was there to watch it all. Another thing I was there to watch it all of, is the matchmaker tendency to set your lover up with another person.

There's not a single anime that I'd like to bring up for this but instead calling out a whole host of shows that do similar things. To show the absolute range and extents, there was a point where Guts from Berserk attempted to push Casca in the direction of Griffith, way back when he was still part of the original band of hawks which was rejected in a moment; Casca told Guts it was more of admiration than love. For the opposite spectrum, there's School Days or even a shitty anime like "Can a girl-boy friendship survive?" where the male mc is being pushed towards girl A by girl B, girl A & male mc do hit it off but girl B is also in love of some sorts with male mc, which leads to a very unnecessary self-made love triangle. The lyrics of the song are quite basically - "I have always been in front of you and with you but we are not together, and if asked, due to circumstances I couldn't tell you that I love you or how I love you". Which makes sense, because how badly rejection could affect the current status quo scares the crap out of them. So instead, they go to this self-sacrificial route where the idea is to give up their own love to help their lover find true soulmates.

A myriad of romcom anime introduce a drama element through this romanticized sense of self-sacrifice, that is depicted in this song where you know your feelings may not be the right ones or the person you have the feelings for isn't the right one; yet you want to do what's right for them even if it isn't in your best interests. The showcasing of genuine innocence may seem irritating to the viewer but when you're in love and unwilling to change the status quo or take risks, this is the route you end up taking.

Do tell me if you think of some songs and believe they would perfectly work with an anime basis the lyrics!

1. Ahiru no Sora - 7.5/10, completed.

Ahiru no Sora was an unassuming basketball anime from 2019. I knew of it before it aired because its manga often showed up on underrated sports manga lists here and there. With that in mind, I was up to date with it weekly up to episode 19, and then due to how many episodes the matches took, I waited till it was over. Unfortunately, this was right before COVID kicked off and during a period when a lot more career-specific aspects of my life took center stage.

I love basketball animanga, and I've also previously played the sport to some extent due to KnB. I have feelings on some aspects:

Pacing: every match takes a minimum of 6 episodes, and wishes to deep dive into a lot of characters and their journeys. I like the depth and investment this adds to the cast beyond the main players, but it's a bit annoying jumping into the past when I really want to see the next play.

Match plays & strategies: The greatest strength of the show is its ability to keep evolving the players, the type of play and keeping the homage to slam dunk to a minimal while building on different strategies within a limited group. I like the intensity of each play. While matches are long, it's fine because the product is pretty entertaining.

Emotional connect: I think one of the best strengths of this series is its ability to not just strengthen characters on the court, but also off it. I love the court action as evidenced, but I adore how the characters are allowed to have their own coming of age experience.

Light Moments & Comedic Timing: The series builds up a lot of tension, some that never gets released, and most of it simply lifts any viewer's mood. I've lost count of how often I burst out laughing while watching the series.

Ahiru no Sora, at its core, is about underdog players attempting a sport for their own reasons. Basketball is what unites them, but they're all very much their own people. They all carry insecurities / promises tied to the sport, and those insecurities / promises shape how they express both their personality and skill. The OST is also pretty great, it really covers up for the lackluster visual experience. Also, I must note that I watched 31 episodes in about a 24 hour span, in the middle of a work week - have it on record that I was fucking hooked.

2. Black bullet - 2/10, completed

Black Bullet follows edgy main character Rentaro and loli second main Anju as they're both in a world where the apocalypse is ongoing. The edginess softens with the presence of the loli, and the plot thickens with time. The anime suffers from taking itself either too seriously or having unfunny jokes / fanservice cringe ruining good tension. The main plot is both over explained and convoluted to a point where even after 3 episodes, all I really knew was that humanity forced the Gastraea to exist by over exploitation of the earth's resources. There's a dude who wants to kill humanity. And Rentaro maybe believes his parents are alive so he wants to locate them.

Part of why this anime was not fun was because of the weird ratios between unnecessary & ill-timed comedy / fanservice, plot movement, relationship / character development and episodic plots. These stupid ratios are why I had put it on hold in the first place. The episodic structure generally helps these types of series to build up momentum and stakes even if the story's backbone aka the plot development itself is weak. However, for Black Bullet, each episode pours in excessive exposition that just gets more annoying to keep up with. This tying in with every episode being very high stakes doesn't allow for good chill moments to last long. All while dealing with Rentaro's very agitatingly static sense of morality.

What's typical of such a show though, Rentaro is always paraded by people around him - whether it's his company president, his partner, new people he meets or Enju. It's very expected but annoying because Rentaro's character archetype is all about being angry, marginally more empathetic than other persons of his profession and having no discernible personality. The anime also tries to shallowly take on serious topics like discrimination, human greed / capitalism overpowering the greater good and children raised by wars / hardship. The show was not well equipped to try all that, and it consistently shows.

3. Vanitas no Carte - 8/10, completed

Honestly, I only had Vanitas no Carte part 2 in the on hold list, but I had to rewatch part 1 too because it's been what, 5 years? I only really put it on hold because I truly loved what i was watching but then the season ended, i didn't watch it and moved on to other stuff, as a result leaving me with this series going on hold lol.

Vanitas no Carte, at its core, is about characters with extremely low self worth finding hope, love and ways to overcome their traumatic pasts. Almost every character has their circumstances, which paints the unforgivingness of their world, with the source of the pain being either the conflict between humans and vampires, conflict within crimson moon born vampires and blue moon vampires, the curse that steals vampires' name/autonomy or tradition gifted pressure. And honestly, often it's a cocktail of a few of these.

I really enjoyed the anime and it's so sad that it's probably never going to get completed because things were getting so interesting! These type of folklore-y anime often have the chance of being too edgy, have one directional characters and a large cast with no limited personality. The way this anime deals with such scenarios is by having a lot of dialogue only and slice of life scenes that really leave their impact. I love the rhythm the show is able to leave behind for us, with going from extreme hype to very likable social scenes, while something equally crazy may be happening in the background. The large cast and their different motivations are used very well to mesh together a complex web that's easy to digest.

The next one will likely include Tentai Senshi Sunred but not sure what else. I'm actively trying to watch new anime too + so many seasonals so not sure when I'll next upload a batch of 3!

Mizu no Kotoba, 10 mins by Yasuhiro Yoshiura

Mizu no Kotoba is a 9 minute scourge into the mind of Yasuhiro Yoshiura and one of the works that would really come to shape the basis of his most acclaimed work -- Eve no Jikan. Even in 2002, he was thinking about the relationship between humanity and robots. This short captures emotions around love, heartbreak and connection. I really love how it used eavesdropping as a genuine way of story telling, as well as the changes in perspectives really making me feel like I was there. The artsiness kept going up as time went on. If you like Harmonie & Eve no Jikan, definitely check this out!

Urarochi Diamond, 40 mins by Koji Morimoto

If y'all thought jumping into perspectives was a cool event, just you wait until Urarochi Diamond hits you. This anime was one of the most interactive experiences, where I was actively looking for where the story was, hidden away in the blacks and whites. I intend on covering the story in full elsewhere, but please do try this out. It's like discovering a supposed folklore set in urban and rural areas alike. There's a million characters and plotlines running at the same time, as well as using very cool perspectives to progress the story. One scene is literally showing like a billboard, while two off screen drunks are having an active full-blown spat 😭.

Mezame no Hakobune: Open your Mind, 35 mins by Mamoruu Oshii & Hiroyuki Hayashi

The super acclaimed director Mamoru Oshii is the creator of this CGI heavy AV experience that charts life. I've read up that it was supposed to be viewed in a dome as it was for a specific expo. That said, the audio visual experience is still stunning, primarily because the effects are jarringly sharp and the legendary Kenji Kawai was responsible for the sound. This is truly a star studded piece of art. The film's underlying plot is around how life was breathed into the world by God, then the elements and beings coming into existence, and finally consciousness.

Muybridge no Ito, 13 mins by Koji Yamamura

Koji Yamamura is a pioneer and one of the greatest avant garde anime creators in the industry. I already had his work "Inaka Isha" featured in the previous edition. He's also created "Atama Yama", which was nominated for oscar's! This anime is like paintings in motion, the way Koji is able to join the absurdity of the scenarios with simple artistic expression blows my mind. The anime weaves two distinct narratives. One of the first supposed motion directors - Eadeward Muybridge who set up strings to solve a question regarding horses running, and what we got was how cameras can capture at different time stamps, which is huge for cinema. The second narrative is about a mother-daughter relationship, with the daughter becoming more independent with age. Both perceive and present the progression of time in very intriguing ways. There's so much to analyse here and sit with, I won't say more because I don't want to make up your mind entirely.

Yuri Seijin Naoko San, 6 mins by Tetsuya Takeuchi

Yuri Seijin Naoko San is like a 6 minute fever dream, packed to the brim with dialogue, absurdity and a very FLCL inspired otaku core energy. Tetsuya Takeuchi btw has worked on some genre subverting works like uncle reincarnated as villainess, currently Kagurabachi and a lot of key animations for major works like Bleach and Honey & Clover. If you're into otaku culture, you'll enjoy it as much as I did!

That was 5 anime again that explore art in interesting ways. Please do lemme know if you watched any of them!

Fantascope: Tylostoma - 34 minutes, directed by Yoshitaka Amano

I love anime that explore folklore and mythos, whether in our worlds or not. Fantascope: Tylostoma does that beautifully in a 30 minute span. This is also undoubtedly the best piece of media I've engaged with this year! The anime follows a cursed immortal ship captain, as he arrives at the shore. His curse is immortality along with not being allowed to dock at shore - the only respite he gets is once every millenia for a day. The story follows his tale, how he gained immortality, how he got cursed and why the curse-giver hates him. This reads more like a classic folktale than an imagined lore.

Inaka Isha - 20 minutes, directed by Koji Yamamura

An adaptation of Kafka's short story "The country doctor". The anime is anything but simple and easy to watch. The animation, art and audio decisions are uniquely creepy. The anime follows the doctor unwillingly going for a sick boy's visit, only to behold horrors that we are also faced with. The intrigue comes from how weird and anal everyone in the anime are.

Video Girl Ai, 6 eps of 30 mins each

What if the game you're playing has a girl who'll come to life and cure you from your heartbreak? In this otaku-core short anime, Ai-chan is a girl from a video game that comes to life to save Kota from the heartbreak he's facing. Her role is to help him get back on his feet. There's a whole set of rules that her life depends on. These remain at the background of the main story, that's Kota's crumbling life as he juggles between getting over his crush and realising Ai is literally everything he wants in a woman. Video Girl Ai blurs the lines between reality and delusion, who you want to be with and who wants to be with you, and, how limited time stakes can speed up one's thoughts versus when there's no pressure. The final arc of the anime takes a very esoteric turn and I can't recommend it enough. This OVA series from 1992 also somewhat rings true today more than ever before, with how AI is being used as a companion by many lonely people.

Fashion, 5 mins directed by Yoji Kuri

Avant Garde anime are usually the most hit and miss, especially since a lot of them are intentional artworks rather than clear story and plot lines. The vagueness is what intrigues me. I like going to galleries and trying to understand what the theme, concept or design choices for the artists are. And so, 1960's Fashion really caught my eye. With a very fun drum beat, My insight is that an eye is trying to become human. It's trying to see what it would look like through reference - it is trying to be human but it can only see parts, not understand why different parts are the way they are, or how they fit together. I feel like I relate to it, because I too like trying multiple hats to see what works best for me - whether it's fashion, my personality or how I process cultural activities. Plus, fashion is a lot about becoming and presenting yourself as something - whether you understand it or not, you'll be perceived as something even against your intent.

Read Or Die: R.O.D., 3 eps of 32 mins each

A more core anime pick with a straightforward story, character arc and action packed 3-episode run. Read Or Die is set in a world where books and reincarnated historic figures are at the crux of the plot. The protagonist Yomiko Readman is a part time school teacher who loves reading, but her hidden identity is that of a secret agent of the British Library Special Operations Division. The other protagonist is Ms Deep, who's Yomiko's partner. Within a very short 3 episodes, the anime takes us on a journey as to why the reincarnated figures are trying to control the world, and the depths of villainy involved. I love how the powers work in the anime, it uniquely uses different abilities and weaknesses to have very interesting choreography and outcomes.

That's the grab bag for today. I'll be back very soon with more non-mainstream anime that deserve more eyes!

The meaning I find most relevant has two parts:

First, esoteric works seek to decode the self, the world, and mechanisms upholding them all. The self concerns identity whether it's genuine proactive self-expression or reactive to circumstances. The world is what the self finds itself in harmony or conflict with. The mechanisms are the invisible intangible but very real structures beneath both: society, religion, philosophy, psychology, mythology, the occult, spirituality, memory, and culture.

Second, esoteric is inherently limited in its outreach. It isn't hidden because of intentionality, but because it demands curiosity, interpretation, and a willingness to wrestle with uncomfortable ideas. There are no easy answers.

The list therefore isn't limited to under-read manga. Some are very well-known yet their appeal lies in the exploration of hidden systems more so than their equally indulgent narratives.

Homunculus by Yamamoto Hideo

Length: 166 chapters, 30-40 pages each

Trepanation is a procedure that allows one to see beyond the existing realm by drilling a hole in the skull. The manga explores the effects trepanation has on our main character of mysterious origins - Susumu Nakoshi, and the psyche of the procedure doer Manabu. The manga follows Nakoshi, as he goes from an already confusing soul who lives either in first class hotels, his car or amidst the homeless to further heights of being able to see everyone differently through one eye - which is coined "Homunculus". Here are some of the "homunculi" he sees people as -- a yakuza is seen as a small boy riding a giant metal robot with a small knife; he sees Manabu as a goldfish in a body-sized water tank; he sees a man as paper-thin and so on so forth. As the series goes on, we learn more about Nakoshi, Trepanation and his experiences with people.

Homunculus treats psychology as seeing the unconscious mind in a physical form. Homunculus literal-izes the metaphors into visual realities. The series very much dives into why many characters look the way they do. Nakoshi is a generally curious person who wants to know more about others while never allowing others to pry much into him. He's able to decode people

Homunculus is a great read, start to finish. The art is absolutely unreal (no pun intended), the paneling is very good too. Most of all, if you're an enjoyer of identity exploration, self perception and connections to society, this manga will scratch that itch and more for you. You get an unreliable narrator, an esoteric technique shrouded in mystery, psychoanalysis, existential philosophy and surreal horror all in one package!

Ultra Heaven by Keiichi Koike

Length: 3 chapters, 620ish pages total

Have you dreamt of the future? Especially have you wondered what drugs we'll have? No? Too bad, Ultra Heaven is set in a future where drug consumption is commonplace. Patches and Pumps are the types of drug intakes available. These are mostly psychedelics that are more controlled yet more wild. Also, the drugs are not addictive, however they do make the users dependent. The series follows Kabu, a drug peddler who is an absolute addict who prides and hates himself on being a heavy druggie. He catches wind of a new drug "Ultra Heaven", that blurs reality and delusion.

What happens when reality itself becomes negotiable? Where does one wander within, not to find who they are but to simply see the depths that the world holds? Ultra Heaven's exploration of reality is fuelled by symbolism. Religions like Buddhism, Hinduism and Christianity show up through symbolisms. Concepts like the collective conscious are present. You don't simply read Ultra Heaven and come out with a "damn that art was crazy good", you leave having seen the collapse of internal systems and architectures through the lens of our protagonist.

No sales pitch really, it's a literal eyeball fest. It's a dream sequence from one place to another, the intentionality of this interests me a lot. Don't expect to come out with a great meaning, most of this manga is just a drug trip. A very very good one at that. I've read it 4 times, I've understood some things and every time I go back to it, I understand something else altogether. The series is esoteric AS FUCK.

Omoide Emanon by Shinji Kajio (story) and Kenji Tsuruta (art)

Length: 1 volume, 200ish pages total

Omoide Emanon is a manga about life and immortality. Emanon is an immortal with the appearance of a young woman. She claims to possess the memories of every living being from the dawn of life on the planet to the current day.

The manga explores a character whose individual identity has long since dissolved into collective memory of humanity. Emanon as a vessel lives and dies, but every time she gives birth, she transfers this consciousness to her next of kin. The manga recontextualizes what it means to live, to survive and continue existing. Lifetimes go from whole existences to ephemeral moments.

Omoide Emanon has pages of conversation that set everything up and moments of silence that define the experience. I am a fan of the movie "The man from Earth" and this manga really reminds me of the movie every time I watch it. I like this adaptation of immortality very much. The short read also means there's most questions than answers left at the end and no one to ask them to, but I really like it.

Fire Punch by Tatsuki Fujimoto

Length: 83 chapters, 20 pages each

Set in a frozen hopeless world, Agni possesses regenerative abilities but is condemned to burn eternally after an encounter with a "blessed" warrior. After seeing his village burnt down in front of him, his younger sister Luna and being engulfed in unbearable flames and agony, he can't die due to his regeneration. The manga starts out as an individual's revenge plot, but becomes more about the collapse and reconstruction of identity, morality, religion, and purpose.

Fire Punch constantly dismantles the narratives people construct to survive. Faith is a performance, justice is a spectacle, cinema becomes mythos, and identity is shown to be something rewritten through memory and social expectation rather than self discovery.

Few manga interrogate the relationship between suffering and meaning as relentlessly. Every arc reframes the one before it, rewarding readers willing to embrace uncertainty rather than resolution.

As a side note, 3 of these manga have phenomenal art, composition, angles and panelling. And the fourth one is a Fujimoto Tatsuki work. I've not dived into Fire Punch very strongly here because I'm doing a separate bigger piece on it.

References:

¹. Deciphering the Esoteric Meaning: A Conceptual Analysis | Meridian University https://share.google/YlRbMewpcqmcp56mF

Before I knew the term muen shakai - a relationless world - I already understood the feeling. Growing up, there were a lot of people around, I was never alone but always lonely. Unable to make connections, meaningful connections were a far off state. I knew people, I played too, but I never felt understood. Honestly, I don’t know how I felt. I do know that I didn’t belong. I could be invited places maybe out of courtesy or obligation, but it was never about my being wanted there, an attendance hand raise probably defines that experience best. Fuck, when I was seen I was made fun of. I know what it’s like to have been unable to break through the chains of social pyramids. Hung out with an almost cool kid who thought you were chill? Guess who just decided to use your vulnerability against you. School was all about having to choose between being bullied or self-isolation for the longest time. I didn’t really hate school, I just fucking hated my peers.

I did find my place. In spelling bee books, chess boards, attempts at playing sports, in anime whose characters were nothing like me - especially Naruto, I found myself in empty immersion of whatever my colony “friends” were into at the time - be it group watching porn because I had a phone with an internet connection, recording youtube videos, “playing” “comedy nights with Kapil” or . I had a much better time away from school. I was bullied, berated and occasionally betrayed here too. Though somehow this experience felt more detached, as if I had agency over meeting these people or choosing to just stay home. Somehow and I don’t know why - I think they pitied me because I was such a heavy crier - so they did invite me. Home was fine, I felt safe. A bit alone, but safe. I loved my neighbour, he was a 70 year old man who imparted wisdom to me. He was my greatest friend and ally for years. I don’t think I would be who I am without his influence.

Ages 13 to 15 were the most fun I’d had in school. I made friends, some that I hold close to my heart even trust and some who taught me enough to allow themselves a soft spot through my rose tinted nostalgia. I was starting to learn how to communicate. Not talk, but to actually get my message through to the next person, and honestly even to myself.

I really wanted to be someone. Preferably someone cool, with multitudes worth exploring but also easy to get along with. Someone who felt safe in their own skin. Someone who belonged wherever they went.

“The fear of being forgotten rises up.”

- Fighting for Relevance (2021)

Anime has a concept of “high school debut”. In Japan, students tend to go up to middle with the same people from childhood. High school is where they get a big break and opportunity to change. My big break too came after school. I got into a junior college¹ physically far away from what I wanted to step away from. I couldn’t quite succeed at making all too many long lasting relationships from 11th and 12th, but I did re-invent who I was. I got better at putting myself out there, to know that my voice deserves to be heard.

I was lucky, I found myself in an online community, Anime Amino, that loved expressing themselves through long articles on whys, whats, hows and whos. I fell in love with writing through anime, my words became my voice. A hardened shell doesn’t crack so easily, little efforts and indentures need to be made consistently to eventually have that breakthrough. I was not very good at it - both writing and expressing myself. I simply kept at it, regardless of who called me cringe or how much I had started to hate myself changing. These people too were just leaving their comfortable inaction and instead wanted to try being someone.

For the first time in my life, people weren’t responding because I happened to be standing next to them. They weren’t classmates, neighbours or relatives. They had no obligation to humour me. They chose to read what I’d written and then chose to respond. Looking back, that sounds incredibly obvious, but at sixteen it felt revolutionary. Every comment, every conversation and every disagreement felt like proof that my thoughts could exist outside my own head and still matter to somebody else.

Anime Amino was how I gained the self esteem to know that what I had to say deserved to be heard. So I’d make myself better at communicating, mainly through writing and understanding what structures help me express best.

If you’re not making your own world, you’re just living in someone else’s. If you can’t make your own world, you learn to pull together parts that make sense to you from others’ lives - real or fictional. Whether it’s alcohol abuse for numbing your senses, talking because the idea of being perceived as social gives you a high or because maybe if like Naruto you could be acknowledged, it’ll all work out.

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of joining broken pieces with gold or silver. To me, it became an unnamed philosophical practice. The twist was that I wanted to be a mosaic, not just a sum of my own parts, but also of pieces borrowed from elsewhere. If I started off as a white plate, my mosaic kintsugi would leave me a multicoloured one stitched together with silver seams.

And damn, was I good at it.

I became a collector of traits. Every person I admired seemed to possess some secret ingredient I lacked, so I’d borrow pieces from all of them. Someone was effortlessly funny, so I’d study their timing. Someone could walk into a room and immediately command attention, so I’d copy their confidence.

Fictional characters were even easier to borrow from because I was already studying them so closely. I genuinely wanted those qualities to become mine. Looking back, a lot of my growth came from imitation. A lot of my confusion did too.

A lot of my process remained the same. Gather friends, traits and hobbies that I thought I enjoyed or that were good for my survival as me.

This was evolution as I understood it then: replacing old versions of myself with newer, shinier ones.

However, evolutions hit ceilings, they establish patterns of escapism and adaptation rather than standing tall and facing the music. Evolution means to leave behind what made you you, at some point. Evolution isn’t growth, it’s survival.

“I am the shell you shed.”

- Hey, I Know You (2024)

But I never wanted to evolve. I only wanted to become. I wanted to become me, I still want to become who I’ll be. You know, in all this self moulding, I consistently tried running away from who I used to be. I tried separating the house I had become from the bricks & cement that got me that far. I only really saw this in 2020, being trapped at home getting high at any given opportunity with me being there for myself. With me writing about how I feel about myself instead of the latest anime I watched. With me trying to embrace who I am, wrestling with what I had evolved into. Trying to get to terms with myself, those 3-4 months were full of excess fun and existential dread the likes of which my verbiage could never do justice. IMI was honestly just so hectic, I was mostly either hanging by a thread or high the entire time. It would be a lie to say I had stopped evolving, but I was certainly forced into a “grow up buddy this is the adult world” lifestyle. I left behind some traits like quitting at first hurdles and not taking accountability for my actions.

Becoming is the internalised concept that lets me remember who I am, how I’ve become, what systems build me up and what triggers break me down.

It’s about trusting myself to stand as the sum of my parts - active and discarded. I may have created an image for the world through evolution, but masterpieces are rarely that simple. Becoming is simply the bridge between who I used to be and who I aspire to be.

One of the strangest consequences of this was learning that not every room needed my performance. For years I treated every social interaction like an audition. I wanted to come off as memorable. Funny. Entertaining. Deep. Politically aware. Knowledgeable. Whatever combination seemed most appropriate for the occasion. I wanted people to walk away thinking I was a multifaceted cool-as-fuck person worth remembering. Becoming meant accepting that I didn’t need to be all things to all people. Some people would misunderstand me. Some people wouldn’t particularly like me. Some relationships would never move beyond surface level. For the first time, that started feeling less like failure and more like reality.

Stories don’t change nearly as much as people do. Every time I revisit something I love, I end up learning less about the work and more about who I was when I first encountered it. The stories remain largely the same; I’m the variable. Sometimes a rewatch simply confirms what I already believed. Other times it feels as though an entirely different person had been watching all along.

In the midst of this, I rewatched Steins;Gate after years. Whenever I’d re-watched it in the past, I came out thinking “damn what a story, such well written characters”, and I did have an option or reason for why I thought so. When I thought of the world-building, I’d usually see things like how lived in the world feels, how authentic do the characters’ experiences look or how the aesthetic matches the series’ vibes. This Steins;Gate rewatch for me was generational, partly because when I know all the major things that may happen, I am able to focus at more layers of the stories and characters. I love revisiting and rewatching things so I can capture where I was in life when I watched it first vs the rewatch and my opinions of the series on both occasions.

Coming back to Steins;Gate, I found myself paying attention to different things. The perpetual summer. The heat. The cicadas. A “chuunibyou^2” and some otaku finding a way to escape society through timeline jumping. Except the only one really jumping was Okabe. Everyone else moved through a single timeline; he carried the burden of remembering every failed one. There’s a sense of loneliness that overtakes his psyche.

A loneliness I’ve seen before, I know her quite well really. Before I was anyone or had anything, I had my loneliness. The lonesomeness of living with no one seeing things - if a tree falls in a forest and no one’s there to watch it has a tree really even fallen? If I am living life and no one’s seeing me go through, am I even alive?

The scene that captures this feeling comes before Okabe and Kurisu share a kiss. For the first time, someone fully believes him. She acknowledges his suffering and the burden he’s been carrying alone. She thanks him for putting himself through the torture - all to try and save her. She also tells him to choose Mayuri. While they’re discussing changing world lines, the telephone cables start parallel, only to cross over instead. A tiny visual reminder that their lives keep finding one another. This kiss scene is among my favourites of all time, but I know that the visual is what made it so.

Denpa-kei stories often revolve around social disconnection. Loneliness, isolation, delusion and the absence of a support system aren’t just recurring themes; they’re the foundation these stories are built on. The idea of muen shakai, a relationless society, sits at the heart of many of them. Many denpa works are interested in what happens when people lose their connection to reality, to society, or simply to one another.

Steins;Gate ultimately rejects that isolation. Okabe overcomes the fate imposed by Reading Steiner through the friendships he builds, the love he nurtures and his refusal to accept a world where he must sacrifice one person he loves for another.

“I know you know me but sometimes, I want you to remember me too.”

- Hey, I Know You (2024)

“If I’m able to make some space for myself, it’ll leave a hole when I’m gone.”

- Fighting for Relevance (2021)

For the longest time, I thought I was afraid of being forgotten.

Looking back, almost every version of me in this article was trying to solve that fear in their own way. The lonely kid wanted a place to belong. The teenager wanted to become someone worth noticing. The performer wanted to leave an impression. Even my obsession with self-improvement came from the belief that if I could keep adapting, reinventing and evolving, I’d eventually arrive at a version of myself that felt undeniable.

The funny thing is that I don’t know if any of those versions were wrong.

While putting this article together, I ended up reading through years of my own writing. The forgotten memories and occasional cringe were expected. What surprised me was how often I kept finding the same questions.

In 2021, I was writing about relevance. In 2024, I was writing about wanting to be remembered. Different words, different circumstances, different versions of me.

It felt less like revisiting old work and more like finding little notes left behind by someone I used to be.

Maybe that’s why the distinction between evolution and becoming ended up mattering so much to me.

Evolution taught me how to survive. Becoming taught me how to remember.

Or at least that’s the distinction that makes sense to me right now.

The more I read those old poems and articles, the less they felt like records of who I was and the more they felt like evidence of what I was trying to understand. Neither poem contains an answer. Neither version of me had figured it out. They were simply asking questions that apparently still matter enough for me to be writing this article years later.

Maybe that’s what all this writing has been from the beginning.

Not answers. Not self-discovery. Not even self-expression.

Just notes left behind.

A trail of breadcrumbs from people I’ve been.

While writing this article, I happened to follow a few of them backwards.

Footnote:

1. India has school up to 10th. Post that there’s an opportunity to go to either high school or “junior college” for 11th and 12th. The boards tend to differ.

2. Chuunibyou is the Japanese slang term used to describe adolescents or young adults who exhibit delusions of grandeur

I'm glad I didn't continue Carole & Tuesday 6 years ago. The reason isn't quite clear to me, I loved watching the first few episodes from memory. I was probably just exhausted from the binge, then I put it on hold, and then just thought it was not very good and put it on dropped. I'm glad I decided to pick it up again. You're about to read my reflections, peeves and overall feelings about this beautiful anime.

The first half is more around Carole & Tuesday establishing themselves as artists and giving their best shot to music. Through the first half, we're also briefly introduced to a lot of characters who will go on to be more important in the second half. I really love how they completed each other, not as opposites but as foils for their individuality to shine differently. Tuesday has remnants of her sheltered upbringing within her even as she grows more independent. Carole's street smartness though built up walls slowly melt away through Tuesday's influence. Both characters not only co-habitate, but also rub off on each other.

Here's why I'm glad I didn't watch it when I was 21. I was politically radicalised yes, but not to the extent where I'd make connections between different aspects. I now see politics in everything, which made me appreciate aspects of Carole & Tuesday that would've gone over my head when I first watched it. The second half of the anime is still centred around Carole & Tuesday going about their music career and everyday struggles, but it also focuses a bit on their other facets. We get a deeper look into Carole's past, Tuesday's mother Valerie's political stance as a presidential candidate, Tuesday's family dynamics, Angela and her mother's dynamics as well the ability of the government to promote self-censorship.

From memories of times past, I recall my friends not loving the second half because "woke has ruined anime, why couldn't they just stick to the music" and "it was great until it tried over bloating itself with too many challenges". A very fair sentiment, that I partly agreed with until the last 2-3 episodes. I do think the politics angle wasn't let in too smoothly, because the set up was through random cuts into how Valerie's policies were being influenced, often from more music plot centred portions. The thing is, I simply never reached that far. In my case, I watched too much of it in one go. Then somehow got bored of it and never went back.

Authenticity, human creativity and a world dependent on AI generated art & entertainment:

A major part of the series was that human creativity was treated as rare, and on occasion inferior. With the story taking place on Mars and enough futuristic AI use-cases, it was made obvious for how advanced the AI really was. Great emphasis was put in showing how fresh Carole and Tuesday were - be it their first meeting where they just riff off, the time at the laundromat where they use the sounds of the machines and their stools to create music or my favourite - when they break into a musical theatre to sing for the sake of performing it. They're artists making art fully for the love of the game. That is true creativity. The biggest rivalry in the series showcased Carole & Tuesday, a pair of human artists who very organically come up with their music and Angela, the artist whose lyrics, beats and cadence are all defined by a genius who uses only AI and data points.

The Rival Who Holds the Story Together:

Angela is perhaps the most important character in the series outside of Carole and Tuesday themselves. While she initially appears to be their rival, her role extends far beyond simply creating tension for a music competition. Angela exists at the intersection of almost every major theme the show explores. She's the product of an entertainment industry obsessed with perfection, an artist whose image, lyrics and performances are meticulously crafted through data and AI.

Yet despite all of her success, she's arguably the loneliest major character in the series. Her relationship with her mother, the immense pressure placed upon her career and her gradual loss of control over her own life make her less of an antagonist and more of a victim of the very system that elevated her. By contrasting Angela's manufactured path to stardom with Carole and Tuesday's organic creativity, the series asks whether artistic success is truly meaningful when it comes at the cost of authenticity. Her eventual breakdown and recovery aren't just character moments; they're essential to understanding what Carole & Tuesday is trying to say about art, identity and human connection.

The music just slaps, really:

What I love most is that each song feels tied to a specific stage of their journey. They're not just good tracks added to the soundtrack, they're emotional milestones for the characters themselves. Carole & Tuesday didn't just create a 7 minute miracle, they had 3 iconic songs that I still can't get out of my head. The loneliest girl is so fun to sing, the timing of the song was also very clutch. As the song that made them an internet viral video and then also the song that granted them equal status to Angela as a pseudo winner, I really love the song. Round and round was a very creative touch to how true artists fr just be making up good shit on the spot sometimes. And of course, their finale song of mother was a definite 7 minute miracle. Especially because they aren't the only singers on it, their composition being what overturned the fate of Mars was amazing. I did cry during that song!

Some minor peeves:

Carole & Tuesday's radicalization came from such a hope-core place, I didn't fully love that they were like "we're going to sing and solve all the problems yay". The start of every episode is with a moment from the end, and it builds up the pair for greatness - I don't love that. The seven minute miracle was built up too much to a point where I just started skipping that portion. Sybil's character was too sudden and short-lived, the drama there felt too forced and not well fleshed out. I don't mind this one as much, but the politics existing solely to raise the stakes was like a cop out.

A strong finish:

The last 6 episodes in themselves are probably the best part of the series. There's a lot of events that have lead up to what's happening. 6 episodes of just letting all of the set ups unfurl, enabling us to not only see our beloved duo reaching new peaks as artists but also becoming symbols of hope. The ending was a very happy go lucky type of setting. The evil whisperer is ousted, Valerie drops out of the race and takes accountability, Angela's tumultuous character arc meets its closure, the entire population has their eyes on musicians as upholders of peace and the literal seven minute song that makes not only the listeners but also the viewer (me) tear up. I'm grateful to have seen this series.

While I still think its political storytelling is uneven and occasionally too idealistic for its own good, Carole & Tuesday ultimately reminded me why hopeful art matters. Its belief that music can connect people, inspire empathy, and push back against isolation may be overly romantic, but by the time the credits rolled, I found myself wanting to believe in it too.

Some of my favourite anime espers fall into very different archetypes: the coming-of-age protagonist, the innocent telepath, the comedic straight man, and the social outcast.

Mob Psycho 100:

My favourite representation of espers in anime. While Shigeo Kageyama “Mob” possesses immense psychic power, the series is far more interested in his growth as a person than his ability to exorcise spirits or defeat enemies. His powers are extraordinary, but his struggles are surprisingly ordinary: making friends, expressing emotions, gaining confidence, and figuring out who he wants to become. By mixing supernatural battles with a heartfelt coming-of-age story, Mob Psycho 100 turns the esper archetype into something deeply human. Mob's psychic abilities may define how others see him, but the series constantly reminds us that they are only one part of who he is.

Spy x Family:

Anya Forger's telepathy is one of the most unique uses of psychic powers in anime because of the perspective through which it is experienced. Despite being able to hear the thoughts of adults around her, she's still just a young child trying to make sense of the world. Her powers create plenty of comedy, whether she's reacting to information she shouldn't know or getting herself into trouble because she misunderstands what she's heard. At the same time, her telepathy gives her an unusual level of empathy, allowing her to understand people beyond what they say out loud. Through Anya, Spy x Family explores the gap between thoughts and actions, showing that knowing what someone thinks doesn't necessarily mean understanding them.

Disastrous Life of Saiki K:

Saiki Kusuo uses his powers like an everyday experience, since that's just how he was born and brought up - everything he does has always had an element of psychic ability in it from air walking to figuring out his abilities as a child. The deadpan esper keeps a balance of genuine manzai-esque timing because of the very eccentric cast. Saiki is such a fun character, because how is the psychic with a million powers the most rational out of the entire mostly insane cast. There's no great lesson, nor is there a monkey's paw scenario and for the most part, him being overpowered doesn't matter much because of the lack of a storyline or villain.

Kotoura-san:

Kotoura-san presents one of the more traditional takes on psychic abilities in anime. Haruka Kotoura's telepathy allows her to hear thoughts that were never meant to be spoken aloud, causing fear, misunderstandings, and isolation throughout her childhood. Unlike many psychic characters who use their abilities for adventure or comedy, Kotoura experiences them as a barrier between herself and others. The series uses her telepathy as both the source of her loneliness and the key to overcoming it, making her story less about the power itself and more about learning to trust people despite everything she has experienced.

There's a common thread across most anime espers: they are forced to know more about the world than they ever asked to. Whether it's hearing thoughts, sensing emotions, or possessing overwhelming power, their stories become less about psychic abilities and more about managing the burden that comes with them.

Mob Psycho 100 treats this burden as part of growing up. Mob's powers are extraordinary, but the series is more interested in his emotional maturity than his psychic strength. Spy x Family presents the idea through Anya, whose telepathy gives her access to adult thoughts she isn't mature enough to process, creating both comedy and surprisingly heartfelt moments. Kotoura-san takes a more traditional route, portraying psychic abilities as a source of alienation and mistrust, with Kotoura's journey focused on overcoming the isolation her powers create. Meanwhile, The Disastrous Life of Saiki K subverts many of the archetypes usual expectations. Saiki has already mastered his abilities, and instead of exploring their burden, the series mines comedy from the fact that an all-powerful psychic is somehow the most normal person in the room.

Whether used for comedy, drama, or coming-of-age storytelling, espers in anime often reveal more about human connection than supernatural power. The psychic ability itself is rarely the point; it's how characters learn to live with knowing too much, feeling too much, or being treated differently because of it.

I enjoyed Obsession a lot. There was just so much content to look at, think about in peace and put down in writing. I didn't cover how this movie is a commentary on men being unable to take hints or how rape-culture-first Bear's behaviour throughout is. There's better voices doing that more compellingly than I could. I obviously also don't cover each and everything. In this write up, I attempt to cover my feelings on different portions of the movie. Mainly aspects that really had my interest. This is a sort of review with my key observations. I've been getting more and more into movies, and since I'm writing again, I saw a few interviews to try and understand the intent of the creator too!

"I wish Nikki Freeman loved me more than anyone in the fucking world"

Bear's wish reveals a lot about his character even before we get into knowing how much of a loser he is. There is a moment where Nikki senses that Bear may want to confess to her, in a feeling that she will put him down gently. He thinks of that as an opportunity, and still fails to say the words outright to her. In that moment of self-inflicted aggresive embarassment and bottled self-hatred for not having the confidence to confess, he makes an intense wish. Bear's ego wanted Nikki to fall in love with him more than anyone, because he wanted to feel loved by the Nikki he loved. He wanted the love to be mutual. His wish was extreme, because he chose to violate Nikki's true feelings. This impulsiveness could be chalked off as an isolated moment but I found it depraved - why was his choice so deep-seated in wanting to override her autonomy? Also, since the opening scene, Bear is quite determined to convey his emotions to her, going as far as using a practice partner. Even the way he describes his feelings for Nikki is pretty obsessive in hindsight.

Bear is someone who simply can't own up. Or maybe he couldn't believe that his monkey's paw had worked. Dreamland turning into a nightmare was always visible. He simply kept covering up all the factors that showed him the way. When Ian spoke to him over call about Nikki saying she likes Bear as a brother and that her father didn't have cancer, he confronts her on whatever was easier for him. He didn't even want to acknowledge to her that he was rejected before confession.

One of the worst moments Bear has is when he's extremely freaked out by Nikki's behaviour and has come to terms with how the wish has altered what his intentions were. The real Nikki breaks through and begs for a mercy killing. Bear, somehow, takes this as her not wanting to be with him. How insecure can this guy get, what a fucking loser.

The Little Things

Obsession fully rewards a watcher who invests themselves in the experience. From the jumpscares being her standing in a corner watching him sleep, to her being just out of focus but still turned towards Bear, Nikki's horror is very consistent. Willow in itself, as also seen in Weapons, is associated with witchcraft and the occult, seeing it used as the monkey's paw equivalent here was amazing.

The brilliant use of hues and lighting and the blurred line concealing the limits of obsession stood out to me.

Some of the best moments show her in a silhoutted or blurred view, perfectly mirroring the purgatory that real Nikki is in.

She's silhouetted in shadows quite often. First time was when the willow was snapped. Second time was after Bear returns from his google searching. Third was probably when she like rewinded in live-time and was yet again shadowed. The fourth is when Bear has disposed of the body and returned. Nikki is just creepily in the shadows again. I believe that Nikki picked up the gun from the safe while Bear was away.

Out of focus - when she's staring at him from the cashier as Bear and Ian talk. Nikki is quite weirdly sneaky okay, before she showed on the screen in the red outfit, there was blurred movement visible through the blinds. Then standing and looking at him when he's on a call with Ian. Nikki in the corner post sex - she was blurry throughout & like her face lowkey blurs too?? Idk if that was some camera trick. The biggest one was where you can see her quickly coming into focus by slapping Sarah's face into a brick.

After the movie ended, I went back to a few things.

The photos stuck of Bear, Ian and Nikki show a mini story.

The ChatGPT bot shows how first Bear used it for his Nana and and then eventually to try and woo Nikki even before searching the side effects of MDMA.

The romcom montage was more creepy than cute, and like there's this AI picture there that said "I want to wear your skin as a sweater" that they laughed at??? In the theaters I thought it was "I want to wear your sweater".

Also in the montage, Bear is seen moving Nikki's face without turning to her, as if it were practice at that point.

Why was the movie was so good at being undeservingly hilarious but also keeping up the tension, while only throwing in like a couple of red herrings?? That was dope. The customer call was one of the most dramatic scenes, and it retains the tension throughout while the operator (Curry Barker btw) being non-challant like this is just everyday business for him, as if he's reading out of a manual even. The cut to him letting Bear hear Nikki's voice which is just a despairing scream is crazy. This detail adds so much depth to the one wish willow, without telling anything. Like, their refusal to go into the lore or a potential solution for the situation keeps the entrapment theme going.

One of the calmest moments was when Nikki reads out her poem, was also one of the eeriest. She talks about Hansel and Gretel, famously siblings. Which ties back to how she sees Bear as a brother. The raunchy despairingly grotesque incestuous tale, as if to say her familial love for Bear had transformed into something forbidden. Of course, she also mentions the willow, a tree that symbolises grief but is also associated with the occult. Nikki also giving away her protective tiger eye heirloom marks a dark twist, as she starts delving faster and madder in her obsession with Bear.

The chime, the snapped third twig and the change in Bear's look as he walked out the bathroom at the end. Two false souls bound by wishes of obsession. Right then the drugs kick in, ending his life.

Ian is a scumbag, actually

As the movie reveals to us, Nikki and Ian were sleeping on and off. No wonder Ian told him his confession was corny. The film leaves open whether Ian was protecting Bear or protecting himself. Additionally, telling Bear to wait did deter his confidence. When Bear is about to Nikki at the bar, Ian jumps into the conversation to slow down Bear's non existent momentum. Also like, he wished for a billion dollars at the very end 😭😭😭.

Learning How to be Loved: Self-Reduction, Imitation and Desire

Bear's obsession reduces Nikki into an object of desire, but the curse itself takes that idea to its logical conclusion. Nikki slowly stops existing as Nikki. Instead, she becomes an accumulation of things that might make Bear happy. Her hobbies, personality and eventually even her appearance become fluid. She imitates, adapts and performs. The more desperately she tries to secure Bear's affection, the less recognizable she becomes.

That's what makes her so unsettling. The horror isn't simply that she's obsessed. It's that she no longer has a stable self to be obsessed with him from. Every action becomes a performance for Bear's benefit. In trying to become his perfect partner, she gradually ceases to be a person at all.

"No, it's not a romance, it's a love story"

"Isn't that the same thing"

The more I thought about that exchange, the more it lingered with me. Nikki asserts that there's a difference between a love story and a romance. At first it feels like throwaway dialogue, but by the end of the film it almost feels like the crux of it.

Bear and Nikki were never on the same wavelength. Nikki wanted a love story. Bear wanted a romance. Nikki saw family where Bear saw possibility. Nikki wanted to be understood while Bear wanted to be wanted. Neither was able to give the other what they were looking for.

What makes Obsession so unsettling is that the gap between them is eventually filled, not by love, but by obsession. The more desperately Bear seeks romance and the more desperately Nikki seeks his approval, the less room there is for either of them to exist as themselves. By the end, neither gets what they wanted. There is no romance. There is no love story. Only two people trapped inside increasingly distorted versions of both.

Maybe that's why the line stuck with me. Long before the willow, the wishes and the horror, Bear and Nikki were already reaching for completely different things.

Maquia when the flowers bloom and Bakemono no ko are two movies that I very much love. They're also very very different on the surface level but several of their themes coincide.

The main theme shared by both of these movies is the curse of living two lives.

The longer you successfully belong to two worlds, the more painful it becomes when those worlds can no longer coexist.

The curse of this choice befell both characters. These also became important themes not only in their character development but also very important plot points in both stories. While both characters didn't have any control on where they would end up being, one of them wanted to run away from everything (which he managed to do) and the other was forced out of the place she felt most at home at and both were made to adapt to the new lives they were bound to live in.

Maquia's arc is built on how she adapts to the new world that she was essentially told not to mingle with. Her original homeland of Iorph was inhabited by functionally immortal beings far separated from humanity. The world is jealous of their near immortality. Owing to their long life, Mezarte, a human kingdom, attacks Iorph in attempts to grasp someone from the clan to be a child bearer. Due to the attacks, Maquia landed up away from Iorph. En route to safety, she finds hope in living when she finds a baby in the arms of its dead mother and decides to nurture it. Both her and her son grow up with a family that lets them both in.

The conflict at the heart of Maquia's story lies between her identity as an Iorph and the life she builds as a mother among humans. When she gets reunited with her race's people, who she thought went extinct in the attacks, she's filled with a cocktail of emotions - most confusing of which was her identity. She now has to make an active choice between either living the life that she has had till this point as a mother of Ariel, as a human who has moved on, or as the Iorph she was born as with the chance to go back to her own people.

Kyuuta lost his mother at age nine. He did not want to deal with his family's false sympathy at a young age, so he chose to leave his house and run away. Maybe it was wishful thinking but he makes his way to an actual magical land with anthropomorphic animals. In a way, the escapeism helped him get closure to death of a parent (which wasn't touched upon too much) by getting a new parent in the form of Kumatetsu.

Due to Kyuuta entering the beast realm, both Kyuuta and Kumatetsu were able to grow as characters in positive ways. Weirdly enough, their chemistry was amazing and although their relationship is the exact flip of Maquia's situation, it impacts them in similar ways. Kyuuta who stopped being just a human child who entered the beast realm made the choice to stay with the brute Kumatetsu! I honestly love their mutual development arc. His curse of the two lives was that he did go back to the human realm eventually. His curse of the two lives emerged years later, when he eventually returned to the human realm as a young adult.

This time, he was able to see the human world differently. The Japan he returned to felt unfamiliar, yet it offered him connections he had never expected, including a partner and a chance to reconnect with his birth father. His partner was the one who more or less made him want to love humanity and this world that he'd long ago left mistakenly. He had to make things right before he could put himself to peace with choosing his old life. His character arc came to a conclusion as he chose the human realm while Kumatetsu became a literal God to protect the son he had helped grow.

Through their own stories, both of these characters found family in people they would never have otherwise met. They were able to become who they were meant to be. I love how the characters lived two very different arcs. When the fork in the road appeared, they could have chosen to continue living the life they had found themselves in or return to the path that was originally woven for them. Their circumstances were turbulent throughout, and their return was painful because neither of them could ever truly go back to who they once were. They never wore masks; both lives were genuine parts of who they were and what they stood for. The people they met, the bonds they formed, and the worlds they left behind continued to shape them long after they moved on. The tragedy of living two lives is not choosing one over the other. It is knowing that whichever path you take, a part of you will always remain in the world you left behind.

And just as the teacher dives a bit deeper and sees what they believed was accurate, so will I. The single series that I believe covers both, the reflection and the emittance aspects of colours would be "Kimi ni suizo o tabetai" or "I Want To Eat Your Pancreas".

I've read its manga and watched the movie and each time I go back to it, the scene I can consider my favorite is where both our characters talk about life and how they perceive it. The reason this conversation stayed with me is because people rarely perceive themselves the same way others perceive them. At its core, the discussion is about their philosophies and the ways they view their own lives. Since color is a property possessed by an object (i.e., the character) that produces different sensations (i.e., feelings or emotions) on the eye (of the perceiver) as a result of the way it reflects light or emits light.

But which of the two reflects light and which emits it depends entirely on perspective.

For most of the movie, we get to see how Sakura's blooming interest in Haru first shows each other and in which light. Sakura even in animation terms almost always was shown in a bright light as compared to Haru which just went to show how both of them were supposed to be perceived. Over time, Haru’s colouring / lighting begins to brighten, with one of the final scenes showing him shining brighter than anyone else in the movie. Earlier in the story, Haru often feels swallowed by silence and muted spaces, almost blending into the background of his own life. But as Sakura slowly drags him into ordinary experiences he would once have avoided, the world around him begins to feel warmer too. Sakura’s presence slowly changes Haru. He went from a detached person to someone desperately wanting another person to live. If I am the one perceiving this story, Haru begins reflecting on the way he has lived, slowly becoming someone capable of loving and being loved. I believe that Haru is the one who reflects. In his own words, he wants to eat her pancreas. This becomes more than just an inside phrase. Sakura fills an emotional emptiness in Haru’s life to the point where her existence validates a version of himself he never thought he could become. If Haru is the object, his colour becomes visible through reflection.

But reducing Sakura to someone who merely changed Haru would be incomplete. Because most of the story is shown through Haru’s perspective, Sakura naturally appears dazzling and overflowing with life. But that perception shifts once we begin looking through Sakura’s eyes. In Sakura's own words, she wanted to become more like Haru who lived his life by his own means. Sakura previously believed a person’s life was defined by every connection they formed, no matter how small. But living through others also means carrying the emotional weight of constantly needing to be seen, remembered, and valued. That's why Haru’s quiet and self-contained way of living seemed bright to her. To someone like Sakura, who constantly measured life through connection, Haru’s solitude must have looked almost freeing. To Sakura, Haru was the one who shone brightly. In her own words, Haru made her want to live more selfishly instead of relying on others to give meaning to her life. Perhaps this also stems from her illness. A life built on countless relationships also means countless people left behind to mourn.

It's not about which color they represent here. Perhaps that is why this idea of reflection resonates with me so deeply too. People rarely stay unchanged after truly being perceived by someone else. Colour depends as much on the perceiver as the object itself. I know I've been both - whether it's picking up the talking mannerisms of friends, some phrases, even take inspiration from how they live or be the one impacting others in my life.

I do not think Haru & Sakura's lives can be reduced to simple opposites or easily defined shades. Therefore I believe that these two jointly represent the colour of life. Some people leave behind colours that continue tinting the way we see the world long after they are gone. Two people can look at the same thing and perceive entirely different colours. I think people and life itself work much the same way. And if you disagree with my interpretation, that is perfectly fine, so long as you have your own way of perceiving the story. I'm hoping this was a reflective read for you!

Densetsu Angel:

A classic from the 1990s and a must read in my opinion, Densetsu Angel will show the reader all potential faces of delinquents that exist. The ones who play dirty, the ones who have honour, those in it for the feeling of being against society, the strong ones who want to show off their skills and most importantly, those who don't even realise they're being perceived wrongly as a delinquent. This series is my favorite delinquent manga. I wasn't a fan of the entire vibe and portrayal of delinquents before this one and it showed me a lot.

In Densetsu Angel, we don't just see the very strongest "bosses" from each school duke it out with each other for getting some area they can call their own (I guess dogs do mark territory, huh?). I find that pretty cringey but hey, I belong to a different era seeing things from a different cultural standpoint. The delinquency there was more from the standpoint of being discriminated based on how some people looked or acted which lead to the characters bending in a specific way.

Beelzebub:

Again like in Densetsu Angel, Beelzebub has some really wild characters. The level of delinquency is more on the side of getting stronger and seeing who is strongest when in context but it's also seen as a strength of the heart. The main class shown in the anime is more of a group of outcasts than anything (never thought I'd unironically say this). The idea to be a delinquent is all about laying everything on the line for every fight and win. And oh, also to bend rules against your will, great application in volleyball if you ask me.

Salaryman Kintarou:

To take up a different perspective, Kintarou is someone who is now an adult and has put his past life behind him. An exemplary worker with the charisma of a Greek God and the work ethic of a salary man. He weirdly embodies the general idea of what my dad thinks the generic Japanese public is like. In his ideology, Kintarou tends to have an open mind and gives free chances for people to prove themselves. His path of delinquency is to reform those who have strayed away from society. In a way, he's a delinquent when put against who he used to be a part of.

Tokyo Revengers:

Maybe you could see it in my words and maybe you couldn't. To be a delinquent is not to go around and be a criminal, at least it's not the romanticism that anime or manga aim to display. One of the top factors is being acknowledged. Whether you are respectable by ways of how you live life (Kintarou), how you remain kind hearted no matter what may be dished towards you (Densetsu Angel) or because you have no choice but to carry the weight on your shoulders (Takemitchi). The end all may be that as long as you are worthy or well respected, you'll have a place to return to. Men who would follow you into death, literal or metaphoric. That's not it though. Most recent of these has an excerpt from Tokyo Revengers' Mitsuya who says that violence should be used only to protect. So long as the person has belief in themselves and their abilities, they cannot lose.

Sakigake! Cromartie:

The school is a delinquent school where all characters, their idiosyncracies aside, are truly delinquents. There's so much chaos happening in that anime, there is no way I won't laugh at that shit ever. Mechazawa, a robot delinquent with a heart more pure than any, is one who belongs here. He's frankly the complete perfect example of a delinquent in the connotation of the word. He is a robot in a human world ffs. He's rebelling against general existence itself as he's a robot going to school and teaching humans how to be a good human with a delinquent heart 😭. Of course, he thinks there's nothing wrong with him and adds more absurdity in a series where Freddie Mercury and a Gorilla are also students.

Japanese delinquent media often romanticizes rebellion because adolescence in Japan is culturally associated with conformity and social pressure. So the delinquent becomes a fantasy of emotional honesty and freedom, even when the stories themselves criticize violence. These characters and stories really embody all the different aspects of what make me enjoy the delinquent archetype, rather than just side characters used as villains or shallow troublemakers.

1) Heartbreaking to watch

2) Hilarious in their actions where I'm unsure if I should laugh or pity them, while I'm caught doing a bit of both

3) On the nose to such an extent that sometimes I feel the commentary is about me and that anime isn't escapism after all

Tatsuhiro Sato from Welcome to the NHK:

Sato's depiction at the start is jarring yet entertaining but most certainly problematic. His feedback loop is a downward spiral and the first episode acts as a great surface layer to who he is. Slowly we get to learn about him, all the while we watch in the hope that he improves upon his own efforts to defeat the demons plagueing his existence. He is a degenerate, quick to obsess - be it a girl, a hobby or a false promise of life-changing immediate unachievable gains, and if he actually went through with some of the thoughts he has, he'd just be a criminal. Sato looks for the easiest way out of any given situation without caring for the person being hurt.

I am fond of his character because of the lack of sugar coating. His struggle is extremely 1 step forwards and 2 steps back. As he learns more, it's almost as if he's getting deeper into his own spiral. He goes to dirty lengths to protect his own idea of peace, being in a habit of mindlessly agreeing with your worst thought just to eventually hit a wall. Also, just to preface this, his impromptu ability to blabber on about flimsy conspiracies and lies when his back is on the ropes is a pattern that comes up when he's faced with the action of his failings.

Watashi from Tatami Galaxy:

From avoidance to repetition, Watashi lives his cycle in the belly of a groundhog day shaped beast. Trapped by his pursuit of a rose tinted campus life, Watashi lives through several scenarios. The common theme is that an opportunity dangles in front of his face and he continually misses to grasp it. Analysis paralysis is a condition where you're frozen because there's too many paths available to you. In Watashi's version, he goes on several routes with different circumstances, actions and consequences but they're always cyclical. Watashi is convinced the perfect version of his youth exists just one decision away. This leaves him incapable of appreciating anything directly in front of him. Every route feels less like a new beginning and more like watching someone repeatedly ruin their own life with different aesthetics.

Minare Koda from Nami yo Kiitekure:

From recurrence to chaos, Minare Koda is the force of nature that fully commits to going with the flow. She's a brash directionless 26 year old with no filter on her mouth. She says what she feels like, regardless of who she's saying it to and what she's saying. That's exactly how she got her dirty secret airing live on air, and also landed herself a gig as a radio host. She goes from strength to strength while continually doing insane acts one after the other, be it accusing her building mate of being a murderer, nearly killing her ex or delivering a spirited performance in the middle of a summer storm. She has nerves of steel and a record to prove it too.

Uramichi Omota:

From chaos to burnout, not every adult needs to be a raging "throw me in the ocean and watch me surf on a shark". Some could just be fully empty from within. Burnt out to such a fascinating extent that their candor has taken over. Every reply feels like a snap back, every statement like a threat. He once had aspirations, maybe even a glimmer in his eyes. However, today's version survives through dissociation and sarcasm. The humour comes from this clear dissonance between him being a children's show perfomer and his unapologetically burnt out self. Often, his delivery is energetic but the words are depressing, and vice versa. The series doesn't simply look at adult burnout, it fully embraces it through the main character and turns it into comedy.

Through this journey, we understand withdrawal and avoidance through Sato, a false sense of participation while idealising everything in his path through Watashi, the insanity of dragging yourself through the mud and coming out cleaner with Minare, and finally the sustainable burnout of it all through Omota. These characters aren't just phases of dysfunction, they embody my shame and growth through very different circumstances yet similar behaviours. While all these characters (except Omota), in their own ways, make it out of whatever quicksand was pulling them in, this article was never really about them getting out. It was about the quicksand they found themselves in. I hope you try these series if you haven't yet, and that they can, in their own ways, inspire you to acknowledge who you are, your flaws, your positives and your potential.

College Life: Grand Blue

As mentioned, Grand Blue is a great homage to how fun one's college life can be if they let loose of all inhibitions (and give into the insanity that is alcohol addiction). Grand Blue fully caters to nostalgia for how fun college either was, or how you wished it could've been. I think it resonates strongly with people around my age because the characters still exist in that brief phase before adulthood fully settles in. It helps me get some closure with all the things I enjoyed in college, that I most definitely won't feel in the same way again. There's something perfectly bittersweet about the series because beneath all the absurdity, it acts as a mirror to a version of youth most people eventually lose. The recklessness only works because adulthood eventually forces people out of that phase. Adulthood gnaws at and eventually removes this carefree version of yourself.

College Life: Tatami Galaxy

Tatami Galaxy is another story from college but one with very different nuances and themes. When I call it a thorn filled rose-colored vision, I mean that Tatami Galaxy constantly romanticizes the idea of an ideal college life while simultaneously showing how indecision slowly poisons it. Great choices can still lead to dissatisfaction if someone keeps avoiding the question of how they actually want to live. Tatami Galaxy constantly reinforces the protagonist's vanity through repetition, recurring pitfalls and his inability to truly change.

Tatami Galaxy explores the many paths available for our nameless protagonist to take, only for him to eventually run into certain perils and repetitive signs that he notices but chooses not to take. What makes it feel so deeply adult is how often the protagonist mistakes hesitation for maturity. He wants to take a stance, but fears the consequences if things do not work out in his favor. The series constantly asks whether youth can ever become nostalgic if you spend all of it avoiding commitment in the present. More than anything, Tatami Galaxy feels like a story about the fear of committing to a version of your own adulthood. The anxiety that if you choose wrongly - the wrong people, the wrong ambitions, the wrong version of yourself - you'll end up wasting years chasing an idealized life that never really existed in the first place.

Wave, listen to me!!:

All of these other anime I've seen when I was a bit younger than now, some maybe a couple of years back and some even before that but none more so recently than Nami yo kiitekure. This series is the reason for me making this blog. I hadn't resonated with a series this much in a long time. Nami yo kiitekure follows a recently heartbroken Minare Koda who had been cheated on (out of her trust and money) by a certain jackass. Heartbroken, she goes on out and rants to someone randomly at the bar. Much to her surprise, her words feature on the local radio show and she realizes who she had spoken to. On visiting the radio tower to cut off her voice note, she ends up in an even more insane situation than her embarrassing story gets published to the world - she makes her grand landing as an amateur spitting her insane diatribe about the same ex without so much as stuttering or slowing down once.

Minare's relationship with Mitsuo leaves her emotionally volatile, bitter and directionless, but radio slowly gives her an outlet to better understand herself. The series never shies away from exposing her flaws alongside her strengths, which is what makes her portrayal feel so balanced. The viewing experience is at its best when it's comedically expressing vulnerability and emotional low-points for the cast - when we're thrown into the messiness of adulthood. Adult characters, especially women in anime, often get pushed into either being inspirational success stories or emotionally put together caretakers. Minare feels like neither. She's impulsive, bitter, loud, self destructive and genuinely trying her best at the same time. Additionally, as someone who regularly listens to only audio stories, I can truly appreciate the effort that an entertainer goes through, whilst providing us with amazing content.

Fune wo Amu:

To explore work-life balance and ambition is still one of anime's most underexplored themes. Fune wo Amu is about finding meaning through work, growth and quiet dedication towards something you genuinely care about. When Majime has the opportunity to switch over from a barely sociable salesperson to fulfilling his potential as a word nerd and helping write a dictionary, his entire worldview opens up.

What I especially appreciate about Fune wo Amu is how quietly adult it feels. There are no grand emotional breakdowns or dramatic turning points. Instead, the series finds meaning in slow improvement, dedication towards a craft and the gradual realization that fulfillment can sometimes come from simply finding something you genuinely care about.

As Majime changes career paths, he slowly begins understanding himself better both inside and outside of work. More than anything though, the series becomes about living up to your own and other people's perceptions of your potential. A lot of adulthood ends up becoming a search for where your abilities actually belong, and Majime's journey captures that uncertainty beautifully. The fear that maybe you do have potential, but simply haven't found the environment where it can properly exist yet. For anyone who believes they are ambitious but are lacking that one push or stroke of luck, which a whole lot of us despairing young millennials and old Gen Z'ers are facing - Fune wo Amu makes for a bloody great watch.

Uramichi onii-san:

This banger comedy about adults hating their workplace on camera is popular in reels/shorts where the hilarity comes from how daunting and depressing the adults are. Uramichi Onii-san is such a funny series, I often forgot just how despairing it really was. A lot of the humor works because it comes from recognizably adult frustrations rather than exaggerated anime absurdity. The jokes hit harder the older you get because underneath all the sarcasm and deadpan comedy is a group of people quietly realizing that adulthood did not turn out the way they imagined it would.

Unlike the other series, Uramichi Onii-san's characters are well over their happy young potential selves, stuck in a dead end job with no solace, with zero ambition towards actually living life and just going about everyday as it comes. It also highlights just how lonely a work-life can be - something I've faced. In workplaces where the only shared joy comes from collectively hating a boss or task, people slowly develop a mercenary mentality towards each other. One where everyone is so busy looking out for themselves, they end up lacking mutually beneficial friendships and even if they are physically alongside each other, it forms an immense sense of loneliness.

Uramichi Onii-san's true brilliance comes in how it's able to turn the set of a kids' morning tv show into a cesspool of hopes, dreams and show off just how "done with it" adults really can be. We have a duo of idiots (28) still stuck together years after college as a rabbit and bear mascot pairing whose only real trait is being mildly irritating, the only female cast Utana Tadano (32) whose only wish is to settle down and get married, Daga Iketeru (27) has a good face but school age humor and seems to lose his shit over d*ck jokes, and finally the titular Uramichi Omota (31) who is the definition of "adult who is alive in his everyday life without living a single day of it". The comedy works because all of these characters quietly want more from life, yet in the twilight of their youth are unable to make the most of what's left.

Adulthood is not one singular experience, these anime collectively reflect different phases of it. We went over the "studious" lives of uncertain young adults (18-22) through Grand Blue & Tatami Galaxy, we went over the struggle of finding something you truly want to do against all odds in "Wave, listen to me!!" through the pov of a 26-year-old, a bit of uncertain yet grit-filled ambition in Fune wo Amu (27) and the sheer despair that one can feel due to the directionlessness that adulthood's harsh reality offers you (29-33) through "Uramichi onii-san".

Maybe that's why these anime resonate so strongly with me now. None of them really offer perfect solutions to adulthood's confusion, loneliness or uncertainty. They simply acknowledge that those feelings exist, and sometimes that's more comforting than being told everything eventually works out.

My view of the series before the last rewatch:

SAO in retrospect was a series that I loved watching on the first try (2014/15). But during the second watch (2017?), I spotted all the gaps and was on the bandwagons who loved to hate on Kirito and the series. A lot of it was unwarranted. As a whole, I loved the worlds of Aincrad and Alfheim, the romance and the conflicts. I concentrated too much on being a hater through my nitpicks, rather than enjoying the aspects I liked. I hated that Kayaba forgot his reason, I hated Sugou because he was despicable. I hated the pacing switch ups, one moment they're running through levels and the other they're just chilling for 3 eps like bro where's the consistency at??

Now, let's come back to 2022/23 when I had the 3rd watch

What went well

A legendary opener:

The first episode of this series is most likely the best first episode alongside AoT out of modern anime. The way it draws you in, slowly building mystery while enveloping you in the despair and confusion surrounding the players’ fight to clear the game. Everything about the first episode is charming and helped build towards the series coming forth. We get to see the brilliant world of Aincrad blossoming with players hyped to explore it. We also get a couple of cool POV shots of the world.

Romance and main duo building:

Kirito and Asuna have some amazing characterization. Asuna who is treated by the outsiders as a damsel in distress is really anything but that. She's a strong female character who lives out her vision and promises. When she said she would protect Kirito, she didn't just mean in battle, she protected his heart from going rotten whenever she could. All it takes is one watch to understand just how deep of a character she is. Similarly for Kirito, his different phases and personality development is pretty fun. We see him evolve from an isolated solo player into someone willing to trust others, suffer loss, and still continue helping people around him. I personally really enjoyed his development throughout. More emphasis on the same was put during the ALO arc.

The worlds:

Both Aincrad and Alfheim are gorgeous and unforgettable. The character designs are stunning and interesting. The characters really got great drip with enough customizable options their way. There's great detailing put into every floor, city and landscape shown to us. I'm not talking about the world building itself - rather the worlds as they were presented. I'm also a fan of the differences in the player POV and eagle eye views shown to us. From the food looking appetizing, the towns being entire ecosystems, the evening skies wanting me to just breathe and the world feeling fully made to be lived in.

Antagonist building:

I personally am a huge fan of Kayaba and Sugou, both for completely different reasons. I used to hate that Kayaba forgot about the reason he had for building the death game. But now I empathize with him, he wanted to build a great world of his own. His reasoning may not be justifiable for the deaths he caused, yet his character had more of a honor compass than he's given credit for. Sugou though, was fucking unhinged and nothing lesser. Introduced as a creep, he lived up to that brand and seemed absolutely disgusting whenever he featured. Their differences make each conflict feel distinct.

The audio visual experience:

I'm genuinely shocked as to how well a series from 2012 is still able to hold its ground against today's advancements in animation. It has stood the test of time. Each track is brilliantly put together to perfectly fit the scene and hit the chords in our hearts. The vibes are absolutely immaculate. There's not a bone in my body that won't react to YUME DE TAKAKU, and every other opening and ending song. In terms of eye and ear candy, never once did I doubt the series over the years.

Neutrals

Finding its footing:

The series really rushed through episode 3 and 4, and the events could've been taken on the way the closed room mystery was given 2 episodes. They take up a great mystery to help the viewer understand the rules of the game they're in, I say that was bloody good world rule building. It also builds up Laughing Coffin up. I feel like the series as a whole suffers from off-putting pacing. A lot of examples stem from how poorly the same episode is storyboarded, something which is doubly exposed by how amazingly the Alternative movie solves this.

Good moments, easy nitpicks:

A number of great moments occur in the series, countless really. One is the appearance of Griselda's ghost to Asuna and Kirito after they solve the mystery - I am a fan really, but why does this not happen more often and goes a bit against what the game preaches? The false traps exist, we know that from Sachi and her guild's misgivings but whenever the characters mention all the off ways people can die in game - this is never brought up.

There's a bunch of information floating around but information brokers do exist, do all characters rely on them in the backdrop? Why do we only ever see them literally just once in a pretty cool scene?

They explain the cooking skill but not the welding one even though we've got a number of weapons experts. This fleshing out would've just elevated my enjoyment a lot.

These are small nitpicks, but they linger in the back of your mind once you notice them.

My still valid criticisms:

Extremely short side character arcs:

We get introduced to a number of characters that we're supposed to feel something about - the series encourages this. But they simply don't have the screentime. They only get mini adventures where we learn basics about who they are, their little quest and why they wanted to go on the little quest. What irks me is that while everything can easily be a situation of life and death, these events are just treated as side quest achievements more than a real opportunity to learn about characters. Sicila had a heartwarming arc where she revived her familiar. Sachi was the red nosed reindeer, who tragically passed away alongside the Moonlit Black Cats, often showing up only in flashbacks when convenient. Lisbeth aching against her unrequited love while wanting to forge a legendary sword. Klein, Yui and Agil are more recurring and have more relevant roles, but are also relinquished to sitting on the sidelines, but I do like their characterization more. I'm happy that the character's many facets get shown but at the same time it's sad that these many characters get shown for a bit, serve their purpose and are almost immediately forgotten afterwards.

Side antagonists:

I love how cool the potential of using mmorpg tropes as evil factions and each floor monster as a decent flavour of the week was elevated by the mechanic of death. The issue comes with minor antagonists for me - Laughing Coffin, Kuradeel, the pk guild etc, who get shown a bit but never enough to leave an impact - besides giving Kirito aura farming opportunities. Kuradeel was the best though a great amount of his impact comes from strengthening Asuna and Kirito's bond. The reveal was quite cool too. Player Killers/Orange players are such a great concept that the creator even accounted for but couldn't capitalise on. The monsters too are few and far in between, for a plot that centrally is all about clearing floors.

My overall thoughts now:

As I said, this is an apology to this series that I clearly took more shots at than deserved. Now? This series went from a 4 to a 7 - a perfectly good experience that I'll look back on fondly. My ode to SAO is that it well and truly deserves being a beloved anime that introduced many to the medium. It's a great introduction to anime and the possibilities it brings along. I believe SAO essentially has the best first episode in anime. The fantasy elements are really imaginative and have been brought to life in a great way. I think the romance is among the best done parts of the series. The pain and suffering Kirito had to go through was real, and the ending is very satisfying. All things considered, I ain't gonna say SAO is a perfect anime - far from it! It's a flawed anime that's a great watch, and isn't entertainment all that matters?

I read this manga during one of the most uncertain periods of my life. Four years later, I still think about it constantly.

My arrival to the UAE happened with me all but bawling my eyes out. Surprisingly, none of those tears came from leaving behind my family, friends or city for the sake of my career. I owe my tears to a certain manga that had me questioning far too many things at a time where I was already feeling very vulnerable, but in a different way. "I sold my life for 10,000 yen per year", a manga whose clickbaity premise hides just how emotionally devastating it really is. Unlike ReLife, which hides hope behind an absurd setup, this manga immediately asks what someone should do when they no longer believe their life is worth fully living. Why struggle through an unsatisfying life when you could simply sell years off it and enjoy whatever remains? A very capitalist solution, really. The manga's cruelest idea is that it treats human worth with terrifying practicality. Kusunoki is not told that he is morally worthless or emotionally broken, but that his future simply holds little market value. His dreams, happiness and potential are all converted into a number small enough to fit into a bank account. I don’t know man, I’m still crying about it 4 years later.

I sold my life for 10,000 yen per year is a manga that goes beyond a simple emotion like heartbreaking, painful or hope-giving. It's one and it's all - a manga that makes you laugh, cry, want to fall in love, want to remain ignorant and truly reminisce what you have, what you lost and who you want to mean to the people around you. Like "The Gift of the Magi", this manga understands that love often means giving up the very thing you treasure most. In "The Gift of the Magi" the wife sells some of her hair to buy a chain for her husband's pocket watch and the husband sold his pocket watch to get his wife a decorative comb. "Jumyou wo Kaitotte Moratta. Ichinen ni Tsuki, Ichimanen de" or "I sold my life for 10,000 yen per year" explores this theme as its ever-developing crux constantly shifts between the two characters.

A true and blue story of "don't be sad because it ended, be happy that it happened". Had this bet not existed, the two characters would never have even united in the first place. We have our two main characters introduced early on - Miyagi the lifespan value calculation turned observer and the hopeless 20-year-old Kusunoki who is broke and lost in what to do with his life. Their initial contact is very professional and has little to do with anything that either would have wanted. Kusunoki hated to admit so, but he enjoyed having someone around to simply just be there for him, though it wasn't even platonic at the start. There was a sense of somber indifference, nothing more and nothing less.

We get to see Kusunoki as a relatively down and out of it youth who seems like he's had his fill of disappointments in life at the early age of 20. Miyagi comes off less like an emotionless doll and more like someone who never learned how to communicate warmth properly.

Miyagi is heartbreaking in a quieter way. Kusunoki enters the story already desperate for connection, but Miyagi feels like someone who stopped expecting it long ago. Watching her slowly allow herself emotional vulnerability is what gives the manga much of its warmth.

But all of this changes one day - Kusunoki feels like he needs to find out more about what his past said about him and so he went to find a time capsule from a decade ago. He discovers that he was the only classmate nobody remembered enough to write about. On the way back, they miss the final bus home and are left talking late into the night.

Because death is no longer abstract for Kusunoki, every interaction gains unusual sincerity.

There is no illusion of infinite time left to hide behind.

The manga strips away the comfort of "someday" and forces its characters to emotionally live in the present.

Out of either boredom or intrigue, the two start to delve into each other's past. I love their conversation because of how scatterbrainedly human it feels, constantly jumping from one half-related thought to another.

As their past scars unravel and they get to know each other more, they discover several similarities between them. They have both become somewhat used to forsaking what they have because of being unable to deal with their circumstances. They tend to hold on to a past that they know has already left them behind. Both of their lives have been deemed to be valueless (in the bad and rather literal way). More than anything, they are two people who stopped valuing themselves long ago and quietly let that despair spill onto others.

What makes the manga truly heartbreaking is that Kusunoki only begins to understand the value of his life after deciding to throw most of it away. Selling his lifespan strips him of the pressure of having a future, and only then does he finally start living honestly.

The tragedy is not simply that his remaining time is short, but that this version of himself may never have existed otherwise.

Another key cog in this puzzle was Kusunoki actually getting to meet his beloved childhood friend Himeno. While the entire ordeal is heartbreaking and fully consistent with Miyagi's prediction that meeting Himeno would only sully Kusunoki's memories of her, the encounter serves a deeper purpose in the story.

Himeno's role in the story is less about romance and more about disillusionment. Kusunoki spends years preserving an idealized version of his past because it is easier than confronting the emptiness of his present. Meeting her forces him to realize that memories cannot sustain a life on their own, no matter how comforting they once felt.

He seemed like he was truly able to move on from her. This could be seen in how he became more open to himself in understanding that he simply didn't want to cause any further troubles to Miyagi.

Rather than mirrors, they function as foils that slowly force each other to confront what they've become. And their interactions prove this. For the first time in their lives where all they've been made to do is feel valueless, when they are together, they manage to create a life that briefly feels worth living. This not only gives meaning to Kusunoki's remaining days, but also softens a Miyagi who had been stuck in emotional stasis for years. Neither of them "save" the other in some grand dramatic sense.

What they offer instead is far smaller and far more human: presence, understanding and the comfort of being genuinely seen by another person.

It changes both of them in ways neither would have expected nor tried to pursue on their own. This is exemplified not only through the tenderness they slowly develop toward each other, but also through how naturally their conversations begin to flow.

Honestly, I could go on about the two's relationship and how impactful it is to change someone's life by simply being there for them. But this isn't one of those "and they lived happily ever after" stories so I won't be. It's a tragedy with extremely good romance and heartbreak portrayed through the truest emotion of understanding someone because of how similar they seem to you.

They chose each other despite knowing how temporary it all was, and that brief connection gave meaning to lives neither of them valued before.

Every time I read a manga, even if it's terrible, I want to believe it leaves me with something. Maybe it's momentary joy, a joke that sticks, a scene that tears me up, an art style that stands out, or simply a well-crafted story. Since I'm putting my time into it, I want something in return, whether it's what I expected or not. Across all the manga I've read, there are 7 series that genuinely changed the way I think. Some of them have shaped my worldview, some have made me introspect and one particular series' mc is who I want to become.

Gin no Saji / Silver Spoon:

Gin no Saji, by all means, is a special manga. Written by one of my favorite authors Hiromu Arakawa, Gin no Saji followed the life of Hachiken Yugo in a foreign land so way out of his comfort zone at an agricultural high school. On the surface, it may seem like a manga about life in an agricultural school but at its barest form, I think it's about grit, growing everyday, making the best of what's in front of you and hard work especially from Hachiken Yugo.

This series played a very impactful role in my life in a time where I felt unbelievably confused. This has happened twice, once in my second year of college where I didn't know who I was or what I wanted. The second time was during B school, when I picked up the manga from where the anime left off when I was interacting with people from very different walks of life - where to be empathetic and where to just be myself.

How are my problems perceived and how do I see those of others?

What makes me or my talent feel seen?

How can even people I dislike still possess redeeming qualities?

What are my privileges, and how do they enable me in ways some others are pushed down?

Why does life have such an unyielding ability to be cruel?

Every read thoroughly grounds me to reality. Hachiken's path to understanding what's best for him is a direction I respect. As seen in Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu, a character spoke about how even if the wise learn from history, he would prefer to be the fool and live it for himself. Whenever Hachiken pushed himself to his limits at school, he ended up in precarious situations. Due to these situations, he was able to learn a lot about himself and others. I personally feel very attached towards the way Hachiken used to go head-first into things, be them physically demanding, emotionally heavy or generally just taking the lead. Hachiken Yugo's path to becoming who he was saved me twice.

Blue flag:

Blue Flag is a story set in high school that explores emotions, relationships, experiences and how the many differing characters present their own unique perspectives towards coming of age. I don't think there's a story that has confused my thought process as much as Blue Flag. Here's 3 main things:

1. How "liberal" are my views on living and letting live really? Especially when the person who I'm letting live could be the one calling for silencing me, would I be a hypocrite if I defend myself by shutting them up?

2. Where do I draw the boundary for retaining people in my life? Is their crime about being unethical, unlawful or even a difference in personal principles?

3. How to live proactively with the pressure of time passing by? The series alludes to this metaphorical clock of adulthood on the horizon to hasten a lot of the development some characters would have to go through during a short time. This is something I relate to from when I tried forcing myself to become social in college.

All three of these, and other smaller questions came to me in very digestible bits, that kept challenging me while I was waiting for the next chapter to release. The series certainly shaped facets of me that I wouldn't have known could be moulded. The series pushed me to look deeper than the surface. There's little sugar coating in the series, be it how LGBTQ+persons are treated, how fragile friendships and egos are, how bullying can come into effect and ruin people beyond explanation and how brutal high schoolers can be, given the freedom of expression. Additionally, this series has one of the most interestingly treated love triangles - not with the melodrama but with gentleness and weight.

Blue Period:

Who am I, what am I supposed to be?

Why am I doing what I'm doing?

What makes sense to me and why in that way?

How can I feel comfortable in my own skin?

Why does the weight of expectations, both mine or others', make me want to tear up?

Blue Period used to be my favorite ongoing manga for a few years. What I love most is the openness the characters show. In their lifestyles, their ways of thinking, and even in the distance between who they are and who they want to become, they refuse to depend entirely on others for validation.

Each Blue Period arc if not chapter tackles a few themes and challenges involving the main character, with others around him in a bout that leaves me with answers that carry consequences. One more fun thing about it was that he doesn't come out as a "winner" in every arc by all means. It also makes me see patterns in my world, visually. The thought that literally everything I see exists because someone dedicated themselves to ensure it was created.

More directly, Blue Period also enabled me to understand art. My previous view of art was simple and very scholastic. One where if your paints are good looking and line work is sharp, you would get good marks. Through Blue Period, I was forced to acknowledge the effort that goes into any piece of art, as well as how different lenses can perceive the same work differently. I'm now a gallery enjoyer, thanks in no less part to paying attention to the theory lessons in Blue Period.

Shimanami Tasogare / Our Dreams At Dusk:

I never expected to enjoy Shimanami Tasogare. The draw about it isn't like stories where you have to solve the mystery to give it validation. Here, you let the intrigue remain unquantified to keep yourself enjoying the thought of getting to know someone from a distance. There are multiple characters in this manga, and none of them feel like side characters there as fillers for a "moral of the story". Every character, their struggle, sacrifice and grit to solve their reality were very compelling, even if some only had exposure for 4 pages.

Shimanami Tasogare is a series at its core about identity. Through the experiences of different characters, we understand who they were and who they now are, why they felt that their identity was what it was and how they were able to reconcile this with themselves. The series showed me a glimpse of the struggles the LGBTQ+ community goes through, in a society that rejects them. The portrayal is very realistic, heartbreakingly raw and yet doesn't fail to capture the glee one feels by liberating themselves from societal expectations or boxes.

Kimi no Suizou wo Tabetai / I Want to Eat Your Pancreas:

I Want to Eat Your Pancreas Follow two people with completely opposing ways of living, and how their brief relationship slowly changes both of them. If you're polar opposite to someone, you have the potential of having a relationship where both of you are able to look directly at each other, rather than simply getting along in your similarities. This is not a novel idea at all, one that's actually been saturated for generations, and the manga does an excellent job at not pretending to be anything else.

Another key theme that I can personally relate to were the ways in which the male MC and the female MC lived their lives. I related to the male mc's "stick to yourself" attitude for very long time - it came from a place of sustaining yourself, a coping mechanism that if you don't put yourself in a position to be hurt, you'll be safe. The female mc's raison d'être was having fun in her life while touching the hearts of those around her, even if some experiences or consequences scared her. My favourite part of this manga had to be how both MCs learned more about the other and started absorbing aspects that they appreciated, and realised would make their lives better. Re-inventing oneself is never easy, especially when you live in a hole you dug up for yourself and are easily identified by. This manga takes a very interesting look at how different people can learn to grow by better understanding those around them.

Machida-kun no Sekai:

Machida-kun no Sekai is a quiet slice-of-life manga centered around a boy whose defining trait is how deeply and instinctively he cares for people. There isn't a manga here which makes me want to be more like their protagonist, not more than Machida-kun at least. In this manga and his world, Machida's love for humans is so pure and wholesome. As a self description, Machida sees himself as someone who loves people and who is loved by people -- that is his essence as a person, his identity. What charmed me the most was that he was there for them because that's who he is. He has faith in humans, their participation in everyday battles and inevitable ability to overcome what's in front. Often in the series, he takes a proactive step to assist people, even if they don't ask for it.

The message is hammered home through the series. During my first read, I was pretty skeptical of Machida, and thought he was a very faux character. Only to realise there are people in my life who at least partly embody who he is, even I related a bit. Over time, I've tried to become someone who extends himself to simply be there for people. Machida-kun is my model for how to live life, to continue having faith in humanity even if it feels like the faith is constantly on the brink of shattering because people always have the capacity to become who they are meant to be.

Koko wa Ima Kara Rinri Desu / We Shall Now Begin Ethics:

Every week, there's a high school lesson about ethics. These lessons are driven by the teacher, who goes over a new question or thought every session. The classroom itself is the root of discussions, and helps several characters understand why they're going through what they're experiencing in life. Depending on the lesson's lasting effect, they either change their way of living or solidify what they were under-confident in. Through the series, we see how lasting the changes are on different characters. With an episodic flow that doesn't forget what happened before, this manga becomes a monolith that doesn't forget what was done in the past.

I love that the teacher is able to maintain a more or less neutral narrative through almost everything that happens, even if he has his own thoughts he doesn't push them onto the people close to him. The structure of the manga is very "flavour of the week", yet the exploration of each flavour is so distinct, the lens changes from student to student and the questions posed are always worth thinking about. In the grand scheme of things, this manga got me reading about the basis of what ethics is on and also the values talked about in the chapters.

All of these series are at least partially set in high school. Recently, I understood why so much japanese media exists in high school. This is the phase in their lives that is mandatory. A lot of japanese people do not do college right off the bat or ever, post high school the most common path is to just become an adult. Often they have to join the workforce in the hopes to earn enough to go to college, leaving them in endless loops of exploitation at work to earn quick and leave because it doesn't work, or trying to stick at low pay jobs for a long period while trying to save what they can. This clock put on them to make the most of these 3 years because you don't know what may come after is extremely stressful, and these stories allow readers to dream, to escape and maybe just gain the belief they need to face their reality.

Real people with real motivations, problems, relations, growth, anxiety, challenges, lives and whatnot. I feel engrossed in the worlds of these series each time I read them. I chose these seven because they most closely mirror my own troubles in life and obstacles I've had to, in some shape or form, overcome. And while overcoming those obstacles, these stories are what drove me at my lowest.